Advertisement: Friends Wanted....

You must be over the age of 20 (any word with -ager is still a kid and I already have 5). Having kids will give you insight to my day. Some qualities I'll be looking for....

• You can not argue with me over what song to sing like:

C: Sing me a song!
Me: You want ME to sing a song?
C: NO! SING me a song!
Me: Do you want me to sing ABC song?
C: NO!NO! Just sing me a song Momma!
Me: Fine. Sing Old McDonalds then!
C: Ooo, ok. "Old mcdonalds has a farm..." Ok, I don't like that song I'll sing the ABC...

If you do argue like that my face turns purple and it isn't my best color.

• When you visit and say you are hungry that MUST mean you want something to eat and you do not tell me NO on everything I suggest and then finally tell me what you want is MILKY. Because that means you are THIRSTY not hungry.

• When you are here you must always comment on how nice my house looks even though there is laundry on the couches, dishes not washed in the kitchen and laundry in the hall. You can NEVER ask to go see the upstairs room except for the first visit. After that they are off limits, trust me.

• You must be able to accept the fact that I will ask you if you need to go potty at odd times. It is just a habit and not meant to harm anyone.

• You have to be able to smile at all my kids (there are 5) during all their talking about what they like, dislike, showing you they can stand on their head, while they show you all their stuffed animals and tell you their eating habits. It is what it is. I will probably be smiling proudly (or I'm taking that 20 minute power nap I keep hearing about).

• Don't ask to ride in my van. Always volunteer to drive your own extremely clean van on the occasion we go "grab lunch". It's another "trust me" issue.

Thank you for your time. I now have to go pick up 4 of the 5 kids from school. My quiet time has ended.