She Is Out To Get Me....

Our county Librarian is on a roll. I think she is out to get me. I'm paranoid that way. Or it could be the truth. Our beginning together wasn't a smooth one. When I first moved here I lovenly took my kids to the Library. It is just down the street. I filled out the application for a Library card. One of the spots asks for a reference. I filled in one of my friends' name that lives here already. The Librarian looks at me and says "You know Sam?" I said "Yes, for about 15 years now, we are good friends". She just looks at me for a minute and says "I'll be watching you. Tell her her books are a month overdue!" . I should have run away, I know. Because before kids I would have never let my books be overdue. Never, ever. But things changed with each child. My brains leaked out and overdue books were the name of the game in our house. Then I lost one (well, I think one of the kids I watch in the summer took it but far be it from me to accuse). She started stalking me. Everytime she saw me (it's a small town, it is bound to happen) she would quote title and author and ask where it was. Finally I paid the hush money and moved one.

Then another book came up missing. I started seeing her everywhere. I started running down isles of Wal-mart just so I wouldn't see her. I stopped going to the Library. The kids couldn't understand why I stopped. My 8 year old was looking forward to her birthday cause they let you get a library card when you are 8. I put off that occasion (um, I still have to go and do that). Then we found the book. Glorious book. Elmo's Picnic was found. I made my oldest run it in, surely they wouldn't gripe at him. Now She will stop haunting me. I let a couple of months slide and yesterday I went back. Charlotte played with the toys. I found a book. Charlotte found a book. I decided to brave the desk and check them out. The new girl took my card and no bells or whistles went off. The books were checked out. We put them in our bag and started for the door. The Librarian looked up and said "You do know we have a new policy, don't you?" Crap, she spotted me. "The New policy is that if you are late, even 1 day late, I can ban you from checking out books for 6 months!" She smile and says goodbye. I escape.

Now I have to take those books back today because I'm afraid and I know she made up that policy because of me. The Librarian, I swear she is out to get me.