A Certain Sadness In Having More Kids.....

I'm finally reading a book that has been on my shelf for a long while. The book is Jewel by Bret Lott. Jewel, the main character and mother of 5, has found out she is having another baby. Her kids are in the kitchen being kids. One was crying, 2 were picking and the oldest girl was being longsuffering. As the chaos was going on Jewel is thinking to herself (p. 32).....

They all wanted me to break, I knew; they all wanted in their own way nothing more than what they'd lost when the next child had been born: just a hug and a soft word from me. My full and undivided attention, what I knew I would never be able to give any of them again. That was the sorrowful part of being a mother: each of your children had to move up a notch toward some end of childhood with the birth of the next child.

That has always been my stuggle and sadness. I knew each time we had another the "baby" of the family would have a role shift. He or she would have a adjust to having less of me. I know it is part of life and growing but I still have that sadness when I watch Charlotte knowing she is in for a shift. It still brings tears to my eyes.