Gumby World

My kids, my life, my need for a sanity check.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

When Momma Ain't Happy.....

I was scared that this may happen. I don't know if anyone has dealt with depression when pregnant (and after pregnancy) or even when not pregnant, alls I can say is that it "ain't" fun (sorry Grandma, I know you hated that word, ~grins~). I knew I had a hard time during Georgia's and Charlotte's pregnancy toward the end and after but I wasn't sure what caused it. Pregnancy or something else.

With Georgia we had moved back to to our home state to be closer to family. It was a good thing. My husbands dad had a massive heart attack when I was 6 mths pregnant. It was so unexpected and very difficult for my husband (as well as me). He was so close to his Dad. I am so glad we had come home so that for a year they were able to see each other. I felt overwhelmed and after Georgia's birth I struggled with depression and anxiety but I just thought it was from all the stress of Max's death.

During this time my Dad announced that he was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He was a fighter. He did everything in his power to not be defeated by this disease. It was during the time I was pregnant with Charlotte that things got worse for my Dad. It kept spreading. He had tumors show up in his brain. He tried and did everything. I know it added years to his life and to ours with him but again, when I was 6 months pregnant, I had to deal with death one more time. No matter how prepared you are for someone to die, knowing it will happen, it doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. Again, I had a lot of anxiety and depression at the end of that pregnancy and beyond.

Although I am struggling with some issues (I'll blog about it later if the issue becomes a situation) and had a friend die unexpectedly, I know that I can not ignore the fact that the anxiety and depression has set in again. I do not like who I become or how I handle life during this time. So I decided to take my own advice that I give to so many women... talk to your Dr. I did. I feel so much better on a low dose of medication just this past week. Who knew it was so hard to admit that you need help. I feel back to my normal self.... Well, almost, I do still have a huge stomach that gets in the way of me putting shoes on, picking up toys, dealing with the heat, heartburn it still there, I'm exhausted all the time... Ok, normal for being 31 weeks pregnant. I'm glad to say my Eeyore cloud has lifted considerably.

p.s. please forgive any typos. It seems that the spell check (which I LOVE) doesn't work with Linux ... or if it does, my guru husband isn't here to show me the light.


  • At 6:52 PM , Blogger geenalyn said...

    i had a horrible time with depression after i had the twins...and i had finally gotten up the guts to seek help and we found out i was expecting Lucas...his pregnancy was sooo very difficult because of the depression i was under. I'm glad you talked to your doctor and that you are already feeling better ((kim))

  • At 7:23 PM , Blogger Amy said...

    Better living thru pharmaceuticals, that's my motto! I love you!

  • At 7:55 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

    Good for you for talking about it. I was mildly depressed during my 3rd pregancy and even that was very difficult. Not only not feeling "myself" but then the guilt I felt as well: I was pregnant! Shouldn't I be sooo excited about the new baby? What was wrong with me as a mother? It was tough. And it sounds like you've had much bigger things to deal with than I did... Hang in there and good for you for getting some help!

  • At 3:46 PM , Blogger Candy said...

    ((Hugs)) Hang in there and glad you talked to your Dr.


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