The First Day of School....

I've taken pictures of the kids on the first day of school since Andrew was Georgia's age. They just keep growing.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. School bells are ringing. Parents are singing. Alarm clocks are sounding. All my school age children jump up from their beds, eat, get dressed, brush teeth, grab backpacks and leave with a smile on their face.....

I then asked them to show me how they really feel.....

Yep, that's what I thought. I still made them all go away. They came back at 3:00 pm with glowing reports of having a wonderful day. Andrew made it to all his classes (first day of Jr. High and switching classes). His best friend since he was 4 yrs old was in most of them. He gets to start band this year. He is excited. Catherine reported that the teacher made them take 3 timed math tests which she thought was unfair but did her best. She is crossing her fingers there are no tests today. Georgia was really sad because the Gingerbread man has escaped and they have to look for him all this week in the different areas of the school. I'll post her picture of how sad she was later. I asked what she would do if she found the Gingerbread man and she sighed like I didn't know anything "EAT HIM!". Ah, good thing to know.

Little Things Make Me Happy.....

There are things that just make me happy....

1. Getting everyone ready and to an appointment on time
2. My kids being so polite that all I hear are praises from people
3. My van air conditioner that decides to work for me on the hottest day
4. Remembering trash day
5. Finding 10 minutes to blog
6. Having an idea to blog about

But what sends my brain into joyous song where I swear Angels are singing the Hallelujah Chorus......

Jeff taking 2 of the kids school supply shopping and the other 2 asking so nicely to go that he says "Sure, hop in". I drove home with no kids in the van and songs in my head.

When Momma Ain't Happy.....

I was scared that this may happen. I don't know if anyone has dealt with depression when pregnant (and after pregnancy) or even when not pregnant, alls I can say is that it "ain't" fun (sorry Grandma, I know you hated that word, ~grins~). I knew I had a hard time during Georgia's and Charlotte's pregnancy toward the end and after but I wasn't sure what caused it. Pregnancy or something else.

With Georgia we had moved back to to our home state to be closer to family. It was a good thing. My husbands dad had a massive heart attack when I was 6 mths pregnant. It was so unexpected and very difficult for my husband (as well as me). He was so close to his Dad. I am so glad we had come home so that for a year they were able to see each other. I felt overwhelmed and after Georgia's birth I struggled with depression and anxiety but I just thought it was from all the stress of Max's death.

During this time my Dad announced that he was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He was a fighter. He did everything in his power to not be defeated by this disease. It was during the time I was pregnant with Charlotte that things got worse for my Dad. It kept spreading. He had tumors show up in his brain. He tried and did everything. I know it added years to his life and to ours with him but again, when I was 6 months pregnant, I had to deal with death one more time. No matter how prepared you are for someone to die, knowing it will happen, it doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. Again, I had a lot of anxiety and depression at the end of that pregnancy and beyond.

Although I am struggling with some issues (I'll blog about it later if the issue becomes a situation) and had a friend die unexpectedly, I know that I can not ignore the fact that the anxiety and depression has set in again. I do not like who I become or how I handle life during this time. So I decided to take my own advice that I give to so many women... talk to your Dr. I did. I feel so much better on a low dose of medication just this past week. Who knew it was so hard to admit that you need help. I feel back to my normal self.... Well, almost, I do still have a huge stomach that gets in the way of me putting shoes on, picking up toys, dealing with the heat, heartburn it still there, I'm exhausted all the time... Ok, normal for being 31 weeks pregnant. I'm glad to say my Eeyore cloud has lifted considerably.

p.s. please forgive any typos. It seems that the spell check (which I LOVE) doesn't work with Linux ... or if it does, my guru husband isn't here to show me the light.