Wah, It's Hot!

This is what I feel like. Last week was so bad that if I had candles like these they would have looked like these. I'm usually not a cry baby when it comes to the heat but being 30 weeks pregnant gives me some rights. Whining is one of them. It wouldn't be so bad but we have an old house with high ceilings; add an old air conditioner and Arkansas heat and humidity and you get one cranky pregnant momma. To top off all that my air conditioner in my van is cranky and works when it wants to. This usually means... High heat/humidity=I won't work.... cool front/low humidity=blast cold air and freeze you.

I guess when you are a kid you don't really think about all the heat and humidity. We had 1 window unit for our house growing up. You had to convince the keeper of the living room (my mom who sat in front of the unit) that it was necessary to come in the room and if we did we would stay for 30 minutes or longer. She would close off that one room and it would be an iceberge. She came from Colorado and hate Arkansas heat. We would spend our summer days running around the neighborhood, walking to the community pool, drinking from water hoses, wading in creeks... being gone all day long with no worries. Now kids have cell phones, ID kits made at the beginning of the school year, bacteria from the water hoses, toxin levels too high to wade in creeks... life has changed.

My favorite place to go to on a very hot summer day was near my Grandmothers house. She bought a house in town that was across the street from the city park. At that park was a spring. The water was drinkable and so cool. In the summer our shoes would come off and walking in the stream of water was the best way to cool off. The other place close to my Grandma's that was the best... the library. I just walked across the park and sat with TONS of books and lived the high life. I loved that park and library. For me, Grandma had the best house in my town.

Yes, I Am Here.... In Theory....

I know. I'm supposed to post some more pictures. I promise I will. I've been overwhelmed with kids. Kids here... Showing up and not leaving and wanting to use my computer. Kids leaving for Church Camp. Kids coming home from Church Camp only to send another one off to Camp. Wonderful weekend with a cousin (Megan came and spent a few days with us and then Tammy came down for over night). Now I'm attempting to finish organizing our churches VBS. Why did they ask me? Why did I say yes? I'm NOT an organized person. I've never organized a VBS. I've worked plenty but let me tell you that when we did VBS in the old days (LOL, 25 years ago counts as "the old days" now) we didn't do all this decorating, computer slide shows, multi media events. I'm kind of overwhelmed. I keep telling myself that it's the message and not the decorations but when you are in charge you think about it all. I'll tell you all about the outcome next week. Please Pray for me... And the kids... And the workers...And that maybe the heat would go away for just a few days....

Anyway the point of this post is my freaking out when I posted on my Mommy boards. I post to some boards that have other mommy's that have kids the same age as mine. When you join some of these boards you get to "decorate" your posts with pictures, blinkies, time lines and such. I'm a minimalist and have a group kid picture and a child #5 count down timeline. I love it. Well, I did until I actually looked at the timeline today. With child #1 I could tell you to the month, week and day that he was to be born. With #2, I was good with the month and week. #3 came along and I was lucky to remember how many months I was. With #4, she was due at the end of June. That's all you get. Now #5. Again, I'll let you know she is due at the beginning of October but the game has changed. I now have this timeline. It tells me this today.... I am 28 weeks. I could handle that but it has to tell me more. It tells me I only have 85 days until Birthday. Oh My Goodness!!! 85 days. The numbers keep getting smaller. I keep getting bigger. And hotter (it was 101 degrees today...Summer is just starting here). Just sitting here typing this post is making me ache. ~grins~ I'm trying to enjoy it and I keep telling myself "this is the last one, remember and enjoy" and then I need a nap. So, I'm here. Sometimes only in theory. I think about things to write about. Then I sleep. Then I don't remember what brilliant post I had working in my head. Hang with me. I'll try and whine... um POST ... More.

The Vacation (part 1)....

was wonderful. We couldn't have had a better time. I loved watching the cousins play and interact. They all got along so wonderfully (well, there were some 3 year old moments but when doesn't that happen). My brother and his wife have 3 wonderful boys. Ruben and Kyle are 3 years old. They had a little brother join them recently, Justin is 2 mths old. Before posting pictures I would like to apologize to my brother. I know we kind of introduced things into your household that wasn't happening before... like Ice cream (they had fun though!), and riding the wagon down your backyard hill (they had fun though!), and getting ice cream from the ice cream truck (That was fun too!), and jumping on the blow up bed (Now, Russ, you have to remember us playing on the bed with the cousins too, right?).... we had had so much fun. Thank you Russell and Martha for letting us desend on your home for a week.

Cousins and lovin'......
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The introduction of ice cream to Kyle and Ruben. It got messy at the end.


We went to the ocean. One of Jeff's favorite trip memories. Jeff, Andrew and Russell loved it. Catherine liked it in theory until a wave caught her. Georgia kept trying and running. Ruben and Kyle attempted to dip their toes. Charlotte wasn't having anything to do with moving water.

I Need A Tivo For A Brain.....

Memories are a funny thing. I remember being a kid and wishing that time would speed up a little so Christmas would be there sooner. I remember as a teenager that my High School years would hurry up so I could stop flipping burgers at Tastee Freeze and go to college. I remember during college that I wished time would speed up so that I could stop taking so many classes and get on with my life. And now at times with my kids, I wish time would speed up so the anxiety of teenage years is behind me, all potty training is done, dealing with all the "female" issues I'll have to deal with is over with, all the tantrums are just a distant memory. But then I stop and remember.

I loved summers as a child. I got to ride my bike everywhere. Spend as much time as I wanted at my Grandmothers. Read books until my eyes burned. Catch lightenbugs and fill up the jars for our collection. Walk barefooted to the community swimming pool. Lay back and stare at the clouds and planes that flew by and wonder what my life would be like.

I loved working at Tastee Freeze (and High School for the most part). I loved working. I enjoyed the friends that I made there. Closing every night I worked. Sampling ice cream. Seeing all my favorite people in our town. Life was good. I had my old reliable Ford Pinto and money for gas. What more could you ask for.

I loved college too. I loved learning new things. There was always those special teachers that opened your eyes to new ways of thinking about the world around you and made you "want" to do better in that world. I loved feeling insulated from the world but ready to try it out.

And I love watching my kids grow. There are just days that I sigh way too much. Days that I feel like if another person touches me my skin will explode. Days that I tell myself that I REALLY do love my children. Those special days where everything seems so right. The kids really do love each other. They will be loving and caring when they grow up. Those moments when my 3 yo will pat my cheek and say "no more sleep. Open you eyes momma!" and give me a kiss. Moments when my 5 yo talks about the new baby and how she will be a great big sister and take care of her forever and ever. Moments when my 8 yo acts like the child she still is but I see that glimpse of the woman that is in there. Moments when my 11 yo reminds me that he is not a "kid" anymore and will be ok without me around all the time. I wish my brain had a Tivo button so I could replay those back. Especially during the times I have to convince myself that I really DO LOVE my kids. ~grins~